Moving forward in my frustration...

I am continuing to struggle with the Lord. I'm struggling in my faith, my hope, and my love in Him. I put him in a box and limit his abilities to work in my life. I don't want it to be this way, i am desparetely seeking change.

I've really been thinking more; i have been so inspired recently. I'm writing songs, taking pictures, and constantly thinking about how my life is affecting others. Am i on the right track?

Lord, wherever you are right now, im here. I love you and want you to come back in my life. I want you to be my reason for living. I'm tired of "making dew" with what the world has to offer. Deliver me, be my Saviour.

i want you, i just dont know how to.

-L

karma or kindness?

This morning i woke up with a headache only meaning one thing; coffee. i know it's terrible to have such an addiction at the age of 16 but whatever. I walk to the kitchen and ask my uncle if he made any coffee. He says that he just used the last of it. crap. but then something great happened. I guess my uncle remembered that i had boughten him starbucks last week when he wanted because he said "well lauren, i don't mind just running out to get you some, you did do the same for my last week." 

I guess it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was to me. When you show kindness, it comes back to you. When you put other people first and make sacrifices for them, they remember. 

I need to do this more. I am naturally very selfish, who isnt? but my selfishness bothers me like crazy. I need to serve more and love more and everything more.

before, seeking God was so easy for me, natural. Now though, He's making me work for it. I need to seek God more.

that's all.