Fearless

I haven't posted in awhile. Life has been full of highs and lows recently. Everything is changing. It interesting how things are working out. The hand of God is among us, completely. I've realized how in a lot of cases i "talk the talk" but don't "walk the walk". I really need to work on that. Recently, i've been getting caught up in the complications of life when i used to be so eager to look at the simpleness of it. I'm making progress though, i can see it. My dreams have faded away into Gods dreams. My heart is yearning for Him now. In the midst of this mess He is also showing my blessings. He's proved to me that if you get past your prejudices you can find something beautiful. I have. 

I'm excited for my life. Excited for the future. Sometimes i don't feel ready to move on, but life wont wait for me. Time is just time and life is just life but love is love and God is God and those things cannot be taken away from us...

So this is my goal for the week: I'm going in fearlessly. I'm going to live and love and see where it goes. I don't know what's going to happen tonight or tomorrow or in a year but God knows and i know he's smiling at the change and my future. So i will too; Fearlessly. 

The Soul Keeps No Time

"When one door closes, another one opens." I Truly believe in that. I love my life. I know the difficulties going on right now will no longer matter, confusion becomes uncertainty, and uncertainty is good. or so Jesus says. I miss my best friend. Stupid phone stealers. I love my new friends. and the new amazing people i'm meeting. "The soul keeps no time". Thats another one of my quotes thats constantly in my head. I have had friends that i have known for years but we still don't have the same connection that i have with a new friend that i've known for weeks. To some people i'm disapeering and to some im always with, in person or in heart. Either way, i'm not controlling it. Whatever happens, happens. I'm done doing things to make people happy. I will love everyone but i cant be best friends with everyone. That is my heart right now. 

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and finally. my life quote at the moment vv

"Sometimes the best things are the ones right in front of you"

life is beautifully complicated

Sometimes when someone doesn't give me the answer i expect or want i go crazy. I don't understand why or what i did wrong or what's going on in their head. i'm not good with patience. Not at all. My life is either do or die, and maybe thats a bad thing. Maybe i should just live. Because no matter how bad i wish things would change, they wont until they do. And i can't make them change any faster. So i just have to live. 

I Praise HIM in this storm

I don't really know what's going on here. The only thing i DO know is that God is in complete control and he's taking me on this insane ride right now for a reason. Giving up everything for God is tough. I've lost friends, become depressed, and spiritually discontent, all for a good reason though. I have not felt so much joy in my heart in a very long time (JOY not HAPPINESS) This week has been crazy. It's uncountable how many tears i've cried. Im searching, trying to find what God wants me to do, his plan. 

Another thing i have learned this week is how much people come together in tragedy. It doesn't have to be a huge tragedy like 9-11, it can be a small tragedy, but still people come together. Sometimes i wonder how many people would actually be there for me if something happened, and now i have a better understanding of it. If someone is real, no matter how well i know them, they will be there. But then we also have the people that i know very well and i thought i was close with and they weren't there. It's sad, but its reality. 

Someone recently told me that freshmen year is when all your fake friends weed out.  This is completely true and maybe this is part of my frustration towards life right now. Things are changing so rapidly. People are changing. Life is changing. I am changing. But God isn't. maybe thats why he's my best friend. God is there for the broken hearted. I know he is. Even if you can't feel Him, He is there. 

Lets rise above human faults and tragedy's. Lets come together and be real. for HIM.